Seakittens

-Seakittens-

In October 2008, scientists at the University Of Wufflesworth, studying dangerous levels of snuggability, discovered sea kittens. It was indeed a dramatic and exciting discovery for everybody involved, as one individual proclaimed, "Sea kittens talk to each other through squeaks, squeals, and other low-frequency sounds that humans can only hear through special instruments. Most ichthyologists—scientists who specialize in sea kitten biology—agree that this is just about the cutest thing ever." I know I'm a little late in reporting on the phenemenon, but in my defense, I wasn't blogging in October of last year. If was, I would've. But, now it's time to discuss sea kittens, which are literally, the kittens of the sea. Are they the cutest thing ever? Let's find out...
As you have hopefully realized by now, Sea Kittens are not real. Sea kittens are the brainchild of PETA (People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals), in an effort to rebrand fish so that people will choose not to eat them. After all, as one PETA spokesperson has suggested, "And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?"

This is real by the way.

As the film Finding Nemo made popular, "Fish are friends, not food", would be the type of goal that PETA has here as they try to make fish appealing as possible. However, other people might find that this is a pretty weird way to go about it - and those people would be right. I have no problem with animal rights - I support animal rights, but there are right ways and wrong ways to go about it. . The reaction to sea kittens has for the most part been one of mockery and rightfully so.

The Sea Kittens website has a number of intriguing features where you can help do your part to help promote ending the murder of our scaly friends, which they say is both senseless and savage. For example, you could create your own Sea Kitten, where you can put lipstick on them (as long as it hasn't been tasted on animals) or dress them in people clothes Alternately, or if you want to raise compassion for sea kittens with your kids, you can read them Sea Kitten Bedtime Stories. However, I will caution against that. The website tells us that, "You can learn a lot about a culture from its bedtime stories. Find out what keeps the sea kittens up at night." And if you read these stories, you won't have to work to find out what keeps your kids up at night. For example, here is an excerpt from one such story which seems to promote the hunting of what Stephen Colbert has dubbed "land fish". If I were you, I'd just scroll past it though - you can't unsee this.


That's perhaps the most entertaining and cynical of the group, which depicts a fish or 'sea kitten' plotting a recipe for "kitten souffle", but all of these tales have similarly depressing endings. It's a bold move in bedtime stories - I'll admit I haven't seen enough revenge in children's stories lately. I'll also admit I'm not sure the point of these stories. In fact, I'm not sure of the point of this campaign. Let me state right now that I am in full support of animal rights - I don't want to see any animal hurt just so we can have better perfume or something like that.

But, this whole "sea kitten" thing is at best a bizarre publicity stunt and at worst, an act of sheer idiocy and stupidity. If it's to cause people to laugh, then label it a success. If it's to raise awareness of the plight of fish, then mission achieved. But, the renaming of fish as "sea kittens" is never going to happen and they have to know that. It simply isn't going to catch on.

Imagine the Godfather having one of the famed mobsters tell them that their rival is "sleeping with the sea kittens". Imagine going to a local restaurant and asking for a "Sea Kitten" sandwich. (in fact, if anybody does this - please let me know). Telling your kids they can have "sea kitten sticks" for supper or tell them that that we're going "sea kittening" this weekend. It just isn't going to happen.

That doesn't even cover real ichthyologists, who now must have their taxonomy of fish completely destroyed by PETA since real cats and fish are not anywhere related. (In fact, it would raise a whole host of disturbing issues if they were, since cats eat fish or "sea kittens" quite frequently). The Sea Kitten campaign also ignores the fishing industry in general, deciding to not take into account the fact that entire areas and families are depending on the fishing world for survival. Also, they choose to conveniently overlook the fact that hunting and fishing are actually necessary since without them, the sea would fall completely out of balance. It also seems to ignore the lake and freshwater fish as well.

From the start, it was a misguided and doomed campaign. Trying to keep people from fishing by labeling them "sea kittens" is just creepy, although, if you don't take it seriously, it's hilarious. I find many of the methods used by animal activists fairly extreme as these are usually the people who end up throwing buckets of blood on people who wear fur, but of course, disturbing tactics can be used in any type of activism and are certainly not limited to animal activists, but that's a discussion for another day.

While the campaign is certainly not going to bring about any real change, it's an interesting move by PETA and one that has certainly brought it a fair amount of attention. It's also brought quite a bit of derisive mocking, people laughing out loud and a lot of head shaking, but that comes with the territory I suppose.

I really believe that the entire campaign should be ignored and through this blog about it, I'm actually raising awareness, but I couldn't help myself. Seriously, you should check out the website though - words can only do so much. It's certainly good for a laugh - just don't take it too seriously. You can't take a campaign seriously that looks as if somebody at PETA lost a bet. I've worked with kids for years and heard a number of things that just make me shake my head, but this could very well be the dumbest thing I ever heard. The only person happy with this whole idea would be ALF.

Now, I have to go - writing this whole post has put me in the mood for Red Lobster.

(As an added bonus and to prove my point, you can see some proof here that the whole idea of branding fish as "sea kittens" may have actually backfired with children. It's obvious here that Kids Love Sea Kittens!)